ON ENTER {
0 ME SETSPOTSTATELOCAL
[ prop ids ] SETPROPS 
"sound" SOUND
"@255,116 !HIYAS!  Welcome to my humble abode!!" LOCALMSG 
800 ME SETALARM }

ON ALARM
{ { 1 ME SETSPOTSTATELOCAL }
[
":@269 73 What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
"@255 116 Grow your own Dope - Plant a Politician."
"@255,116 Confuscious say, Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok."
":@269,73 Confuscious say, Man who stand on toilet, is high on pot."
"@255,116 Confuscious say, Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
"@255,116 Your lucky number is 364958674928. Watch for it everywhere."
"@255,116 Elevator smell different to midget."
"@255,116 When in doubt, whip it out."
"@255,116 No guts, no glory, no brain, same story."
"@255,116 Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!"
":@269,73 If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?"
"@255,116 If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"
":@269,73 If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?"
"@255,116 Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny."
] DUP LENGTH RANDOM GET LOCALMSG
800 ME SETALARM }

;Find a gif that you just LOVE, put a blank.gif in the door first and this one second.  People enter and see nothin but in about 13 seconds, the gif appears and every 13 seconds, it just keeps sayin whatever youve told him to.